Denying Truth

As happens from time to time, an unexpected exchange becomes fodder for my blog.

This one occurred at the pool and regards the pool but so much more than the pool. 
I have been counting down the days until I will have met my goal of continuing to swim throughout the fall semester (ending in the first weeks of December).  
To be honest, I have become accustomed to my swimming routine.  I will blog about my progress when December comes.  The obstacle I face at this time is the water temperature.  It is not warm.  I have been telling myself as the air outside gets colder that the inside pool is going to be the same as it always was.  My mind might think it is getting colder but in reality the inside environment would be unchanged.
Still the last couple weeks - well - it has always been this way - the getting in is hard.  I probably have something like negative 5% body fat (kidding) so I am not really exaggerating my cold sensitivity.  Each time I say to myself, "It only feels bad for a minute.  Before you complete half a lap it will be okay."  This turns out to be true, every time.  

The air turned cold in NC this weekend.  This morning it was in the 30s and I did not ride my bicycle to school.  I envisioned the swimming that would come at 12 (even as I was lifting weights at 10 and having breakfast at 11).  In other words, I was  preparing myself for the initial "getting in".  When I got to the pool, it was only just opening but there was a MAN in nearly every lane already.  As I walked by one of them, he said to another, "This water seems to be getting colder.  It's probably just in my head though.  ha ha"  My internal response, "Damn - I really did not need to hear that, ever."
After changing into my suit, I stood at the top of one of the lanes and waited for the man in it to arrive so I could ask to share space. [In the time it took me to change ALL of the lanes had filled with swimmers] He said sure and swam away and back again only to find me still standing there and not in the pool.  I then went in by way of the ladder, but lingered and shivered.  I also must confess, I wavered. My negative voice saying something like, "why are you doing this to yourself - it is too cold".  The pushy voice saying, "you didn't ride your bike today, you need to exercise,"  and  "you can't quit" - "you said you'd do it until December." 
My lane mate said, "You are doing it the hard way.  Just jump in."   I laughed and said, "I know."  "I know it'll be fine in just a half a lap, but it's cold now."  And he said, "You don't trust your own experience."

As I began my laps then, he words lingered.  He was an older man, older than me but not as much older as I'd like to believe (smile).  He reminded me of my father for two reasons.  One is that we had a little above ground swimming pool when I was a child and my dad always jumped in and told anyone who crept in that they were doing it wrong. We were torturing ourselves. 
The second reminder was from his words. My father tried to educate me and protect me from mistakes that he had made by sharing his "experiences" with me.  I could not learn from his experience. We all seem to have the need to make our own mistakes.  Today's pool comments  made me think of this again and the words still rang true.  
We do NOT trust our past experience. 
We don't believe that exercise will leave us feeling good and sometimes even feel good in the moment, even when we experienced that very thing in the past. 
And, we cling to the belief that diets will work when every time they do not.