Beyond Staging

Staging is a strategy that I have used and recommended in that past. It can also be called visualizing. People use it to prepare themselves for difficult situations. The situations may be ones in which the person has previously experienced a bad outcome, i.e. drinking or drugging when trying to be sober, or drawing blanks during important testing or interviews. It could also be that someone has never been through the experience before and is very worried to try the new thing, worried of failing. In either case, the object is to see yourself, see yourself in that situation, succeeding if not excelling and hence, staging the result. Ah, to be the “star” of your own little drama – and you the screen writer too!

Sometimes our thoughts propel us into panic and defeat – perhaps we take the bad scenario from above and in our fear of repetition set ourselves up for that very same trauma. As I may have mentioned in the past, I knew a psychologist, Dr. Loretta Sylvia, who worked with patients who suffered from PTSD – stress from past trauma. In a presentation, she noted that the brain remembers the way things were headed, not necessarily the way they turned out. Her example was a person in a war situation who thought they would die. The person was rescued and yet when triggered, the recall from the past is “death is at hand” and panic can be extreme. The brain forgets the part of rescue and safety.

My thoughts today are not so grave and people with PTSD would do best with a licensed professional – but I do believe most ardently, in the power of the mind. Buddha is credited as saying something to the effect of, “we are our thoughts.”

My very simple real life example of the power of self talk – to defeat or transcend defeat- comes from a recent run. I was challenging myself and I was nervous because last summer around this time many things transpired to result in my not running for several months. The start of my downfall was the heat. I recall one or two long runs where I had to find shade and stop and regroup, every mile! So a few weeks ago as I was running along, that memory struck me. I began to think that I was going to get dizzy and then the cascade would begin. Everything would fall apart because that is what happened in the past. I then engaged in this self talk which is transferable to any situation really and here it is:

Stop thinking about how you FELT and start thinking about how you FEEL, even better – think about how you WANT to feel… It worked. And you know, every time you add a success to your story – you can build on that.

Here is another example – blood draws. For most all of my life I have fainted when I had blood taken from my vein. I do not faint as in dainty swooning, but go full out – eyes to back of the head, often requiring ammonia salts to the nostril and 24 hours of bed time to recuperate. It was like that until it wasn’t anymore. What changed? I talked myself through it – depending on this steel trap of mind that I have and blind faith.

I won’t forget the first time either. I lay on the table, facing the wall with my arm rather slung over me, behind me, i.e. I could not see my arm, the phlebotomist or anything. I still do it that way. But I remember thinking to myself and saying to myself, (I was in my 30s) – today is the day that I am going to call my Dad and say, “I got my blood taken and did NOT faint.” Other messages I sent to myself involved how much I had to do that day and how fainting was not an option. It worked! And from then on, I set the stage and I KNOW I can do it because I have done it before – first time, blind faith, the other times, build on past success.

The very first time you do not smoke after you quit is the hardest – dealing with every other craving can be accomplished by reminding yourself, “I have done this before.” Same with your first day not eating the cupcake. Your first time going to the gym – etc etc.

The mind – use it, don’t let it use you.