Wednesday, January 18, 2012


My studies and this blog are specifically related to chronic disease that is attributed to dietary factors and exposure to tobacco or other carcinogens.  Generally however, I am interested in anything related to health and so from time to time the blog post may wander in another direction - like financial health for instance.

Today I mention something associated with  relationships because I have been reading an article that mentions theories that lead to successful ones. 
One of the theories is exchange theory and according to Buhrmester, Furman, Wittenberg and Reis (1988), an important component of exchange theory is this:

-"appropriately asserting displeasure with others"-

I think you should read that line again.  It is really saying TWO things.  The first is that when you are in a relationship (romantic, friendship, or familial), it is important that you DO share your feelings when you are displeased (unhappy, etc). The second part is that you do so appropriately.  
Sulking and withholding affection or attention, for example, are NOT assertions.  Yelling that your spouse is a jerk IS communicating, but not appropriately.

I think what I want most to impress upon you, the reader, is this:  It is not healthy to keep things inside.  It does not help you or the relationship.  Suffering in silence - being a dutiful (yet,conflicted) person  - or being unhappy, gracefully - these are not strategies to improve the health of a relationship.  It does not help you, the relationship, or the other person(s).

1 comment:

Paula said...

Wrote that one down so I wouldn't forget. Great mental health advice. :)