Thursday, December 3, 2009


I am once again about to travel. This trip is going to be very quick and I will actually have more time to blog both Friday and Saturday than I feel I have right now. [I will be on a three hour plane ride both days!]

So when I travel, as you already know, I pack my lunch box more seriously then I do my suitcase and when staying in a hotel I find out about the fitness opportunities and request a room with a refrigerator and microwave. It is easier for me to travel and stay at hotels then to stay with family, but tomorrow night I will be with family. (because as a guest it is hard to make special requests but as a paying customer... well , that is different)

What I do to get ready for a trip is what one of my quit smoking clients recently referred to as "staging". She has also been recovering from polysubstance dependence and learned the term there. But she uses the staging to help her to feel more comfortable with being a dinner guest also. She will call the hostess and gently remind her that she is a vegetarian and ask if she may bring a dish to share or inquire as to what the menu may be. It could sound rude, but the other way to look at it is being"thoughtful" . My client does not eat meat, what if they served her a nice juicy steak. An embarrassing moment would occur! She has also used this technique to help her avoid some triggers that might increase the chance of a smoking relapse. She recently called ahead and asked if the couple still allowed smoking in their house. [very few people do you know] But she said that she had recently quit smoking and it was hard for her sometimes and that is why she was asking. [instead of sounding like a reformed and hostile ex smoker!] In fact, the hostess told her that since so many of their friends HAD quit smoking, they had decided to only let people smoke in the garage...

So staging. Make the event as "safe" as you can, set the stage for your success, and then be prepared for things that may work against you.

Tomorrow I am going to be in good hands. I am staying with my niece who has already asked me what I would like for breakfast and called to tell me that she would have a salad for me at her party and what would I like on it (as opposed to eating the baked ziti OR BBQ pork). Incredible and thoughtful young woman! I told her it was really okay, that I always had my lunch box and I would not go hungry. She probably remembers our last big family party when my Mom commandeered the wait staff and demanded I be brought a salad because I did not eat whatever it was they served. It was embarrassing, but MAN the salad was indeed beautiful.

Anyways, my niece said to me, no bother, no worries, it is what families do for each other. Ah but that is not always true. Some people in my family would rather I just get over myself and eat what every body else is eating. SO, staging...........because in the end - you are the only one that lives in your skin and you have to be loyal to what makes that work for you.

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